Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

"Never Split the difference" is an outstanding book on how to negotiate, written by Mr. Chriss Voss an ex-FBI agent. having read a few books on negotiation, this is quite clearly the best. Mr. Voss is well qualified to write such a book given that he has negotiated over release of hostages in a number of parts of the world and on the other side his involvement with academic institutions such as Harvard. Fundamental message of Mr. Voss is that human beings are emotional and irrational. Decision making is at the end of the say an emotional decision. The historical theories on negotiations are built on human beings rational and both the sides developing "win win" solutions. However, in a hostage crisis, it may not be possible to have a win win outcome. And therefore the title of the book -- never split the difference. Mr. Voss's negotiation approach is roughly as follows: 1. Listen to the other party carefully. Mr. Voss believes that people wish to be understood and accepted and listening is the best way to do that. 2. Second thing that he emphasises is to spot the emotion in the other party, summarise/ paraphrase what the other person is saying. Summarising may not be by accepting what the other person is saying but by "labelling it". This way the counter party feels safe, understood and develops trust. This makes the other person more open to ideas. 3. People like autonomy and control. Allowing them to say no is often a great way to understand their reservations and also gives them the feeling that they are in control. Understanding their resistance can open up things. 4. Watch out for the phrase "That's right". Human beings like to be understood and positively affirmed. Once that happens, it is possible to get a positive breakthrough. 5. Importance of asking callibrative questions by using words such as "What/ When/ How/ Who". As the author says, this a way of saying no, without saying no and giving the other person the illusion of control. 6. Importance of the parties feeling that they have been accorded "Fair Treatment" 7. Anchoring proposals to get the desired outcome. At the end, the author emphasises the importance of self control and emotional regulation and using the same tools that are needed in any relationship of understanding the other party, building trust and rapport, making the other party feel our empathy and then getting them to do things that we want them to do. The real life examples make this a fun and engaging book to read. It is well written and easy to read. I give it my highest recommendation. 3.

Its wonderful experience of reading this book, the way of providing details through simplicity and story telling is so good. I also tried the tips in my real life and it worked. Starting is good and somewhere between if you feel bore, don't stop just continue reading and you will find many interesting insights.

Book review: Good book on improving your negotiation skills. Remember one thing: you can be tactical with persons who you meet once or twice in life ( Example: sales in tourist places) as here requirement is short term benefit. Don't apply same tactics/smartness with family or colleague or your regular customers, you will loose trust. Here you need work on building trust/relation. Feedback to publisher: Try to keep font size little bigger so that reading is comfortable.

This book is for the established negotiator as well as for newbies. Life must be navigated and successful navigation needs negotiation in both personal and work life.

I recommend this to all the students of life. /Work with this , read it again. Use the learning’s. Good luck.

This book is specially for those who are interested in negotiations,the first chapter isn't that much valuable but from the 2 chapters all the manipulative things arrive

GF loved the book....I havent read it!

I lifted this book out of my clutter one fine day as title looks interesting and I finished the book in 4 days and re-reading again to grasp more so I can apply the tactics in my everyday life. Explanations are flowing lucidly without and lag. All the topics started with author's real life experience and how he tackled that situation using his skills. He did indeed acquired impressive set of skills from his long standing career with FBI. Unlike others, this book is more practical oriented and everything you read you can apply inyour day to day life. Overall this book should be next to you as a life reference book.

This book is so entertaining, informative, immediately applicable and generally well written, I have hated the writing of every business book I’ve read since. Thanks :(

Highly recommend this book , its practical with amazing applications to my job as a business analyst , definitely recommend it

Interessante e ricco di spunti, un manuale su come condurre una trattativa con tecniche reali e utilizzabili nella vita. Ho imparato molto da questo libro, ovviamente non cambia il carattere delle persone ma aiuta a sviluppare una modalità di approccio diversa

Perfect for any negotation

I was one of those people who just go with the flow and thinking I am being wise and empathetic but truly deep down I know and can admit that I was afraid. I was more than afraid, I was terrified of confrontation and conflict. I read this book and BAM a new perspective arrived. I am negotiating deals that would never in a million years had I not read this book, ever thought I could. I did not have the balls before but now I got more than the “balls” I got knowledge, insights, tools. I am not the best yet but I sure am better than before. I don’t have to live a mediocre life and call it meek or wise. It’s all a disguise anyways because the truth is we don’t like seeing ourselves knowing parts are us aren’t that great. So we hide and call it brave. This book dressed me up with confidence, gives me the green light to self-trust. It wasn’t easy but after reading this a few times. I have exceeded my own expectations and now I don’t think there’s anything under this blue, sometimes grey sky that I cannot do. Challenges bring it on. Best book for negotiation hands down.