Drinking: A Love Story

This is a quiet but very powerful book. It is written by a professional woman (journalist) to record her long struggle with alcohol. It gives an amazing, in-depth insight into the thinking and feelings behind such an addiction. She is brutally honest about the ravages of living with an addiction - morning hangovers, always trying to get a drink, driving drunk, passing out, waking up in a strange bed with men and not knowing what happened that evening/night, always trying to sneak a way to get enough to drink. She strictly maintained some rules for herself - like never drinking at work - that allowed her to keep up her professional life and convince herself that she was not an alcoholic, only a heavy drinker. (The amount of alcohol is astonishing.) But what is most powerful in the book is how she manages, in retrospect, to see the WHY of drinking: to quell the anxiety and to stifle uncomfortable feelings. She points that out repeatedly as she examines different stages of her life. And it IS a love story in the sense that she truly loved to drink, particularly in the early years when a drink or two relaxed her and made everything warm and comfortable - no social anxiety, no worries, no inadequacies. Unfortunately that stage doesn't last long - it takes more and more booze to quiet things down and the result leaves havoc in its wake. Imagine having to inspect your car fenders in the morning to make sure you didn't hit or kill someone driving home in a drunken haze! Many alcoholics have "cross addictions" - pills, pot, eating disorders, dysfunctional relationships. These too give you the illusion of control and killing unwanted feelings. She went through several years of severe eating disorders - that too helped to deaden her feelings, and most of her relationships were a disaster. Gradually, by examining all those feelings that she was so terrified of she comes to see what she is trying to kill with alcohol. She is from a family of professionals who were cool and aloof. Underneath that calm was anger and unhappiness. She learned early not to show feelings though she longed for a connection with them and their approval. She truly loved her parents and their deaths from dreadful cancers at first spirals her into much heavier drinking (if that is possible) but finally helps her toward recovery. This is an amazingly insightful book about living with the types of feelings we all dread. It gives insight into the disease and even for those not dealing with addictions in themselves or those close to them, the penetrating analysis of how we humans deal with feelings is the best part of the book. After I read it I wanted to know more about Caroline Knapp. So I Googled her and was very touched by what I found. I won't spoil anything for you but there is another book (about her, not by her) that you will want to get!

This is one of my favorite book. If you’re struggling with alcoholism or know someone who is, this book offers beautiful insight into a deeply confusing topic. The authors vulnerability and authenticity shines, and it’s incredibly well written. A beautiful read.

I'd like to leave a more detailed review but don't have the time. Others have already done a great job of that anyway. Suffice to say I found this book very touching and affecting, especially knowing the tragedy of the author getting sober after going through hell, and dying within 5-6 years of lung cancer at only 42. Even as a regular smoker, for that to happen to her at such a young age, after such travail, is very sad. I assume the person she calls Michael in the book is really the long-time partner Mark she finally married just before expiring. More poignancy. I don't understand the negative comments regarding how she characterizes AA. Nor the ones dismissing her as privileged and narcissistic. These seem to me to totally miss the point of how this affliction can affect anyone. I took off one star only because it is true that it is very repetitive, often. Could have used some editing. Still worth reading. Hope you are in a good place Caroline ! I will remember you, even if a stranger.

As much as I loved this book, I doubt it will impress people who aren't alcoholic or dealing with an alcoholic. Had I read this book in college, I would probably have sympathized with her problems but ultimately thought she was simply flaky and needed to just stop doing the stupid things she describes - not that complicated. As it is, I read this book when I had become fully aware that my own relationship with alcohol had ceased to be simply "great when it's around - like a good meal" and begun to be compulsive. The absence of a drink became an 800 pound elephant in the room, and I noticed that at some point I had stopped enjoying being sober. For me, that was when I realized I had crossed a line and that drinking was no longer cute or funny. Somewhere along the way, it had managed to insinuate itself as the center of my life, even though I never would have admitted it out loud. My first thought when invited to a social event was whether alcohol would be served. My first thought when going out to a meal in the evening was whether they had a liquor license. I had mentally divided my friends into drinkers and non-drinkers, and I had managed to do so without believing there was anything weird about this. That is the subtle tug of alcoholism that Ms. Knapp exposes. To everyone around the alcoholic, it is obvious that there is a problem. To the alcoholic, he simply wants to suck the marrow out of life, and can't understand why people aren't with him. Yet, if pressed, most alcoholics will admit that their life stopped being happy right around the time they started drinking regularly (it is a depressant, after all. This shouldn't be surprising). They will have what Ms. Knapp describes as that "a-ha" moment when alcoholics consider the possibility - obvious to everyone else but new and original to them - that they do not drink because they are unhappy. They are unhappy because they drink. Ms. Knapp's book is ideal, and potentially life-saving, for the intelligent, highly-functioning alcoholic who has not yet done anything so stupid that they are forced to recognize what everyone else in their life probably knows. This book could be the catalyst that allows them to head their problems off at the pass, because alcoholism ONLY gets worse. There's a well-known speech about alcoholics in AA that includes a memorable phrase about what it feels like to be alcoholic - "the worst part is, people will never know how hard we tried". Many an alcoholic can identify with this - no matter how many times alcohol has kicked you, it is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life to quit. Trust me on this and respect the next recovered alcoholic you meet. Had they had a choice, they would rather have walked across the Sahara. But they took a deep breath and tried to do the right thing for themselves and others. Like so many reviewers of this book, I regret that the author died before I could personally thank her for the insights this book provides. However, she is in my prayers, and I hope she's enjoying a very sober, happy existence with the same Higher Power that watched out for her here on earth.

This book is so well written, and is so honest and informative, it is perhaps the most compelling (and useful) story about addiction I've ever read. Caroline Knapp, an Ivy-League educated columnist and editor, shares the story of her slide into alcoholism and her road to recovery with brutal honesty. Her down-to-earth, conversational tone pulls you in, and paints a very credible picture of someone who goes beyond the singular, self-serving notion of merely writing a memoir. Recovery has brought out the best in her, and her writing is filled with gratitude and a deep sense of caring for the health of all those around her with or without addiction issues. The love story metaphor plays all the way through and works well. I particularly liked the way she continues the analogy through her recovery and labels her relationship with alcohol "a divorce." She not only divorced alcohol, for the first year she "took out a restraining order," and avoided "alcohol the way you'd avoid running into an ex-lover at a restaurant." Some of us have a difficult time understanding the disease of alcoholism and, more to the point, what goes on in the mind of an alcoholic or addict that keeps him/her on this self-destructive path. Knapp lays it bare. She comes across as someone you would want to know. I recommend this book for anyone interested in understanding the nature of both the active alcoholic and the recovering alcoholic. These pages are like a 280+ AA meeting, offering insight, understanding--even comfort--and most importantly, honesty. Well done. From the author of "A Line Between Friends," McKenna Publishing Group.

As I read, almost spellbound, through the pages of this book I was drawn in by the words that caused me to say to myself "this is me; this is the terrible pain and frustration I have felt all of my life". The stories have recognizable 'characters', though certainly not the same people, but almost every one could be transferable to a person or people in my life. This is the most remarkable book I have personally ever read about the 2 diseases that I have faced for over 45 years: depression and alcoholism. The chicken or the egg, which came first. In my case, it was depression. Alcohol was my only source of relief from that pain. But sadly, it then became an entirely 'other' and additional problem. The rage and anger that ensues when that it realized, it so articulately described in this book. The absolute self destruction that results from trying to stop the pain or at least for a short while, ease or avoid it. She mentions that instead of going through emotions, you just go around them. I have had no success with AA but I may have been focusing on the stupid acronyms and cliches. She shines a light on the need to realize that it is about saving your own life. AA stresses that you should "take what works for you and leave the rest". She accomplished that and further goes on to explain that it is an every day effort. This book is written with a 'spot-on' dialogue. I too, as one reviewer mentions, would love to meet Caroline Knapp in person to thank her. I hope so very much that she has finally realized how valuable and brave she is and how she has given a true gift to this world by putting into words, what far too many of us could not find words to express. I will re-read this book many times!

Drinking Caroline Knapp Self Help - Recovery | Delta Trade Paperback | May 1997 14.95 | 0-385-31554-6 This is an update since writing the review below this one: Well, Amazon replaced the book with the missing pages and I have been amazed how riveting and absorbing the book is. The writer really knew how to draw you into her story and whether you are a drinker, an addict or just curious I sincerely recommend it as an educational and helpful read. If I were to place any criticism, it would be that some of the narratives ramble on in flowery or overly verbose descriptions, but still I would strongly recommend it as a good read. (Following is the old review before Amazon kindly replaced the book) I bought the book titled above for myself and a friend. On starting to read my copy I discovered that pages 17 to 48 are missing and replaced with pages 225 to 256. These pages are also in the right place later in the book thus duplicating them

Amazing story about a woman’s relationship with alcohol. Highly recommend.

Ein Jammer, dass es dieses Buch in Deutsch nur mehr gebraucht gibt. Da ich damit offensichtlich unvermeidliche, teils unverschämte preisliche Exzesse für "top" Exemplare nicht zu zahlen bereit bin, mir zudem der Einband dieses Taschenbuches zusagt, verordnete ich mir - eher notgedrungen - ein paar Englisch-Übungsstunden. Ergebnis: Das Buch "zieht" ungemein, hebt sich damit nach meinem Empfinden sehr angenehm von anderen Selbsterfahrungsberichten ab. Was (für mich) schon im, wie ich finde, überrraschenden wie treffenden Ansatz liegt, mit dem die Autorin ihre (Liebes-)"Beziehung" zum Alkohol beschreibt. Also die psychische Ebene. Von genau dieser habe ich in anderen Erfahrungsberichten Abhängiger, bei denen mehr der physische Aspekt im Fokus stand, eben nicht gelesen. Suchttherapeuten werden bestätigen, dass gerade die psychische Seite die entscheidendere ist: Rein körperlich ist eine Entgiftung in wenigen Tagen überstanden. Die Auseinandersetzung mit den (seelischen) Gründen, die überhaupt erst dazu führten, eine "Liebesbeziehung" mit dem Alkohol einzugehen (und aus dieser auszusteigen und eben nicht rückfällig zu werden), kann Jahre dauern. Und diese Gründe (und auch die Fassaden bzw. die Wirklichkeiten hinter den Fassaden) können so ganz andere sein, als man gemeinhin annehmen möchte. Und es mag erschrecken, wie sehr man sich als Leser, wenngleich - vielleicht nicht oder gerade eben doch abhängiger als gedacht - wiederfindet im Text. Stichwort: Hunger nach Liebe, nach Wärme. Liebe aus der Flasche... (Wenn man bedenkt, wann und wo überall zur Flasche gegriffen wird, muss der Hunger nach Liebe in der Welt, in Deutschland, groß sein?) Das Buch macht - wie Alkohol für Alkoholiker... ;-) - also beim "Konsumieren" Hunger auf mehr, auf die nächste Seite. Was die Motivation erhöht, trotz Fremdsprache dranzubleiben, und mit gutem Schulenglisch sehr ordentlich gelingt, die wesentlichen Beschreibungen und Beweggründe sind gut zu erfassen und wirken nach. Wie allerdings trotz und mit Praxis im Job erfahren, ist und bleibt Muttersprache Muttersprache. Feinheiten gehen also tendenziell verloren, will man nicht häufiger durch begleitende Dictonary-Lektüre den Lesefluss unterbrechen. Alles in allem ein fesselndes Buch mit psychischem Erkenntnisgewinn. Als fremdsprachliche Übung zu empfehlen. Und evtl. bei Habhaftwerden eines guten und bezahlbaren Gebrauchtexemplares oder Neuauflage in Muttersprache ein zweites Lesen wert.

Drinking： A Love Storyというタイトルだけ見ると、小説かなと思われるかもしれません。図書館の洋書コーナーで面白そうな題名の本を手当たり次第に手に取っていた時に出会いました。まさに、依存症の出口を求めて沢山の本に逃げていた時に。私自身は食べ物依存症(吐かない過食症）の大学生です。悲しみ・緊張・疲れといった全ての不快に対する感覚を食べることで鈍らせて生きています。Knappは元アルコール依存症者です。拒食症も経験しAA(アルコール依存者匿名会）にも参加し同様な経験をもつ人々と語り合った内容を交えつつ書かれたのが本書です。アルコール依存症の要因を精神分析的に捉える従来の見方から脳科学･遺伝的考察まで加えています。それは教育を受けたアメリカ人でジャーナリストという彼女の科学と論理性を強調する背景により実現されています。しかしながら依存症に依存することをやめるために客観的であろうと苦しみもがいた故の結晶といえると思います。前作アリス･Kは翻訳されていますが本書は｢アルコール依存症者｣が一見対象な特殊な本に見えるためか未だ翻訳が出ていません。でも私自身が訳したいほどに、生き方に悩む人・特に女性にお勧めの本です。Knappは本書によって彼女やその友人の経験を語りかけることで共有し、一つの自助形態を実現しています。最後に本書から貰った、一番の助言を。"...strength and hope come not from circumstances or the acquisition of things, but from the simple accumulation of active experience, from gritting the teeth and checking the items off the list, one by one, even though it's painful and you're afraid."

I'm so glad I found this book that helped me feel less lonely in my experience and my wide range of feelings. It's by far the best memory I have read about alcohol. I truly feel connected with and understood by the author. It's so sad she died that young but I'm grateful for all she left.

My headline is stunned because I finished this book last night (only after a couple days of starting it) and was left feeling stunned, on so many levels. Stunned by what this woman was capable to put down on paper, by what she was able to recall and translate into words so flawlessly. Stunned that I found so much in common, and therefore so much peace in the fact that this person exists and found a way out. I have always been fascinated by addiction, since early childhood, watching my own mother toil with just about anything she could get her hands on. The self-loathing and anger that preceded. Day by day, and year by year I have turned into that. I have used drinking for just about every emotion and circumstance that life can throw at you and now that I want out, I am not sure how much of anything has truly been 'dealt' with. I am one of those women who seem to hold it together, much like Caroline, I have kept steady employment and even managed to impress a person or two along the way. I have raised 2 teenage boys that seem to be finding their way just fine and now an infant daughter that challenges me and keeps me wanting more out of life. More connection. I have a home, my bills are paid, I have a car etc. etc. etc. What I don't have is any understanding of how I got here, so dependent and insistent on being someone I am not. Joy, something I used to think came at the bottom of my white wine glass. Little did I know, it only robbed me of just that. Something I found really cool about this book is how ridiculously easy she made it to read, the stories all flowing and intertwined. Going forward and back with such fluency that you don't even realize you're putting it all together as you go and it makes seamless sense at every turn. Thank you Caroline, seriously you are meant to be a writer I was meant to open your book. Thank you for sharing your story with such transparency and preciseness, thoughtfulness and intent. HIGHLY recommend, even if you have only thought once "Am I drinking too much?"

I have read many ,many books on Drink and Alcoholism , most are poorly written attempts at either Sermonising or story telling. This book , in my opinion is the only one you will ever need to read ,(having said that ,maybe she is just my kind of Drunk , but i think not , there is truth and insight here for all ). After a life of heavy drinking i am now into my 4th month of abstinence , with no plans of a return . This book stiffens your resolve because it helps you to understand yourself ,and why you do it ( most drinkers don't really know , we have selective memories ) it is also superbly written , making Jason Vale sound like a door to door salesman .